I was up late last night and couldn't sleep...
Gabe kept asking me if I was okay because I kept trailing off into deep thought. I couldn't stop thinking about the parents who couldn't kiss their babies goodnight.
I don't think I can continue to post until I place my heavy heart into words, and express my deep sympathy for every life affected in the Newtown Tragedy. I haven't been able to get it off my mind. I am thankful we don't have cable since it would be difficult to pull away from the coverage. I have tried to process it through prayer, and accept that there may never be understanding, but that it will leave a lasting impact on our nation.
On American soil there is a rich history of lives lost for freedoms....
We have fought to run our own democracy,
we have spilled blood for the freedom to worship,
we have fought for rights to vote,
we have spilled blood for racial equality,
we have fought for peace in other nations,
we have spilled blood in defense of nations in need.
we have fought for the safety and protection of citizens,
we have spilled blood to battle terrorism.
In Sandy Hook,
the blood of the innocent was spilled and there was no cause or reason...
they were robbed of life because a troubled soul was looking to make a mark in the world. Looking to be remembered.
I realized that this was the lowest of the low. There is no honor or glory or cause or reason why these lives were lost....we don't even have terrorists to blame.
we may try to still find a cause to get behind to process it. More gun control, more attention to mental health issues, more security in schools...
regardless of these, one thing became so clear to me..
Our nation is aching and we are all very broken. As I was writing this post, my son was playing trains next to me, and I heard him mumble, "they all got damaged." All his little trains were all stuck in play-do and he was helping them out.
It hit me that we really all have damage. I don't know the solution, and only God can see the depth of the pain each person carries. All I know is, that we can each do something a little more.
At the heart of it, we all have a deep need for love and to give love to others. It is in our nature. There is so much brokenness around us.
Its time to invade each other's space. Let go of our fear to love others out of our comfort zone. The community of people who have risen to surround and comfort Newtown is a glimpse of how we should
always be to each other.
Well my resolution from this day forth is
to be offensive. To love people I disagree with, invite someone hurting into my home, to bless my food and pray with my family in public, to greet strangers with a smile, to give a "Merry Christmas" without fear of offense, to offer time to those who may not have anything to offer in return.
We all have our American Soil in common. It is beautiful, rich, and full of history. We can fight together through our differences, and hope for a more peaceful world for our children.
It starts with the small things, and a big determination to change our own lives, but we are only human. I have seen God pushed out of our schools, our pledge of allegiance, and slowly our nation. I hope we can bring Him back to our lives without fear.
We need Him now more than ever to take our faith and hope and move mountains for us. But even when we shut him out, he shows up. He is in each and every act of kindness and love we are sharing to Sandy Hook. He will continue to bring them comfort.
May the parents and loved ones of each and every victim be surrounded with love, peace, and comfort this Christmas and throughout the year.